brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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