found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Sorry my hands just texted you
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
