He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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