Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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