I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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