My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
