no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
