My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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