Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
