Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
