Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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