so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
