Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
