Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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