Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
