All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
