I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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