if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
