You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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