dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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