Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
