I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Houston, we have a squirter
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
