you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
