That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
