what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Randomize
