You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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