I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
