I hate your face
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
