i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
