ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just high enough for therapy.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
