The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
