We just shotgunned beers for America
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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