a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
