You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
