Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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