i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I don't think brook has ever known best
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
