So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
