apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
