my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
