She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You need Xanax blowdarts
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
