i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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