All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
