I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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