are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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