He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Randomize
