i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Randomize
