Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
