I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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