im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
