my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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